You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
