Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
