Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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