well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
