dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
should my penis look like a turkey
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
