You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
