New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
