Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He kissed a someone with a penis
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
