Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
