I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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