it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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