Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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