dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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