There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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