I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
