There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
