bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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