is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize