So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize