i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
