yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
