So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
