I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
