people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
