I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
