...so i touched it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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