his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
