belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
