I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
