the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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