what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
