i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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