I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
