Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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