I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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