My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
