He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
