So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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