is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
