If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The adults are the big ones right?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
