dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
