so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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