Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
