You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
