We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize