We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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