i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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