I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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