never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize