Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize