drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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