70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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