My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude i'm inner monologue high
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
