you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize