No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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