I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I will die if light touches me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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