so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
