But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
