Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize