they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
