I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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